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What do you do when you lose your community?

I wrote previously how excited I was when I finally found a community to support me on this journey to raise bilingual kids. It wasn't long, however, before we had to leave those precious families.


My bilingual son was three and a half when a job opportunity moved us across the country. We moved from a diverse urban city to a homogenous town in the Appalachian Mountains.


The first thing I did when we arrived was seek out bilingual opportunities for young kids in our new town. Guess what I found? 


Nothing.


Everything I had read and researched about how to raise bilingual kids emphasized the importance of two main factors.

1) You need exposure to the minority language.

2) The child must feel the need to use the minority language.

I was in control of the exposure part - just speak to him in Spanish. But I could not create a need for him to use Spanish in and of myself. I am not a native Spanish speaker, and my son knew that.


It was our Spanish Immersion Coop that had created the need for him to speak Spanish. But we left that behind. I saw the effects of losing the “need” to use Spanish very quickly. How quickly?


One month. 


It only took one month for my little guy to realize he didn’t NEED to use Spanish with me. Previously, if I was speaking to him in Spanish he would respond in Spanish. If I was speaking to him in English he would respond in English. 


I remember clearly, one month after our move, I asked him a question in Spanish and he began to respond in Spanish, paused, and looked at me. I saw the realization dawn on him. “I don’t need to talk to mom in Spanish...she’s speaks English too!”


And he responded in English. 

My heart sank. I felt it was the beginning of the end of all I had worked for.

Our story continues. Major transitions are not the end.


Want to keep reading?

Up next: The Secret That Makes Kids Speak Your Minority Language.


What about you? Have you found your people?

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Lauren Stengele


Lauren is a 4th generation Mexican-American, and 2nd generation homeschooler. She learned Spanish as a way to reclaim her heritage, and now passes it on to her three children whom she homeschools bilingually. She started Bilingual Together to provide encouragement and resources to other bilingual homeschooling families.

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